"The Call" Part 1

When we started our China adoption journey back in 2007 we were thinking things would be fast since this is what we were told at the time.  We were in the "NSN" line, which means Non-Special Needs.  The wait went on and on and on...  Fast forward to August of 2010.  We decided that it was time to think about switching to the "SN", which means Special Needs, program in hopes of speeding things up.  Emma was getting older, 7 years this month, and honestly, so are we.  We did tons of research, met with a doctor and decided to move forward.  We filled out a list of needs we felt we could handle and contacted our agency, Holt, to let them know we would like to join the Child of Promise program.  This process is much different than the other.  Each month China puts out a list of children with minor to moderate special needs that are available for international adoption.  The agency gets notice of when the list will be released and they are able to log on and view the list and make referrals to the families that have been waiting.  This list comes out about the 3rd week of each month.  Being the type of person I am, I would sit and wait by the phone, stalk the Internet and hope that the phone would ring!  September came and went with no call.  October came without a match... You get the point...

Mark and I sat down on October 23 and logged on to the Love Without Boundaries website and saw this post Day Six of the 2010 Cleft Surgery Trip.  We were amazed at what we saw.  The first picture of a baby girl was amazing.  We continued looking through the posting and felt that we really were ready to parent a child with this special need.  I continued over the months going to the Love Without Boundaries site and was and am amazed at the wonderful things they are doing for the children in China.  

November came and went and again, I spent days waiting for the right referral and sleepless nights wondering if this was ever going to happen.  We and many others prayed that we would see our daughters face soon.  This process is so hard and takes a toll on a person.  We truly did believe that it would come in Gods time, not ours, but that is easier to hear and sometimes hard to accept.  They holiday season was upon us and I really did want to enjoy the season and not stress over adoption, but like clock work the 3rd week of December came, along with the notice that the "list" was coming out.  I knew that once again, on December 21st I would be in front of the computer with the phones (house and cell) sitting beside me waiting to find out if we would see our daughters beautiful face.  The day went on and on... nothing was happening for anyone in the adoption world... no calls... rumor had it that the list was very small.  I finally had all I could take and against our agencies request sent an email asking if they were finished with referrals for the month.  I just knew I couldn't sit here then entire week of Christmas and stress if there was no hope of a call.  I wanted to move on and enjoy the holiday season.  I got an email back saying, "Yes we have finished this month, we are sorry and hope that next month brings you better news."  I cried of course but made the choice to just move on... after all we have no control over this... right?  I emailed a few people who I knew in with my agency to let them know what I had found out so they too could move on.  It got posted on our agency forum...  I was afraid I might have crossed a line letting the cat out of the bag... but oh well, I couldn't just let everyone sit and wonder all week... the week of Christmas!

December 22, 2010 was a half day of school, the kids would be getting to the bus stop at 12:30, so I did a few things in the morning... check the Internet to see if anyone had gotten "the call".  Nothing... then at 12:15 my phone RANG!  It was our agency, Holt.  I thought to myself... oh no... they are mad that I let everyone know calls were finished for the month and I was.... well for lack of a better word, in trouble.  Our agency rep asked me how I was doing.  I then thought she is just checking in on me.  She knows how hard this is on all of us.  Then she said those 8 words we had longed to hear for almost 4 years..."We think we have a referral for you!"  I was shaking... I asked her to repeat it again.... Did she say that... I went into auto pilot.  She gave me a little information about the baby girl, she was only 8 months old!!!  A baby!  Oh, how I wanted a baby!!!  It was at that moment that I realized it was 12:30, the girls are at the bus stop!!!! I told her I had to go get the girls... she said "GO" I will email you the file.  Call me back after you look at it and let me know what you think!

I made it to the bus stop just in time... we all came to the house... I knew that email was waiting for me with the picture of a baby that could be our daughter.  BUT I had to get the girls a snack and all the other things that need to be done when walking in the door from school.  We had already decided we would not tell Emma anything about a referral until we were sure it was the one. She has been waiting so long for this and asked almost everyday for 4 years when it would happen.  If this wasn't our baby, then there was no need in putting her through it.  The girls finished their snack and finally after what seemed like an hour went down to play.

I sat down at the computer and before I checked my email I prayed that this be our daughter!  I clicked on the email and this is the baby I saw in front of me...

WOW!  I could not believe what I was seeing!  OUR DAUGHTER!  I knew it was her! I studied her face, her hands, her little mis-matched stocking feet.  LOVE, that is what I felt.  I then took a step back and had to remind myself that I needed to keep an open mind.  I needed to read the medical information before I got too emotional.  MARK, yes, I needed to call Mark.  Mark is NEVER at his desk.  His is always in meetings... but we had a back up plan.  A co-worker was on "baby call".  I called Tina and asked if she could track down my husband.  Remember, we were told the day before that there would be NO referral, so Mark was not expecting a call.  Tina called me back and told me that he was out of the building, at a holiday lunch party.  I told her, I would call his cell.  She already did that... he DID NOT take it in with him.  OHHHHH, now what.  Tina let me know that she will tackle him as soon as he gets in the door.  No worries! 

Meanwhile, my friend Susan had gotten here to pick up her daughter.  God put her here that day, at the right time, because I couldn't think of all I had to do.  She sat with me and went through the medical files, helped me email the doctors I need to send the file to and research, research and more research.  I was so excited but truly I was in shock.  This wasn't supposed to happen this way... but I am so glad it did!  Finally, Mark called back and I filled him in on the news!  He was blown away too. I had emailed him the file at work but he wasn't able to upload the pictures, he would have to wait until he got home, poor daddy.  Susan sat here with me, keeping me calm, editing my emails to the doctors, since most of them didn't make sense... I was crazy!  We charted her growth, she looked great!  We went through her personality information, she was a good sleeper (love that), good eater (love that too) but a bit restless... we can handle that!  Everything from where we sat looked great! 

We got a call back from one of the doctors very quickly.  She stated that this baby looks great. She is growing, thriving and as far as China cleft babies go she is in great shape.  Great! Happy mommy here.  It's starting to feel real now.  By this time, Susan had to leave and Mark had arrived!  He finally got to see her face!  WOW!  Same reaction I had.  He looked over the information I had gathered and thought this was really the right referral, this was our daughter!  I got an email from the other doctor saying that she would be calling us but it would be very late, but her first impression of the file looked good. 

We sat here all night, praying, hoping and pacing that the other doctor would come back with the same prognosis. We waited for that phone to ring for hours, we should be use to this by now.  Finally, at 11:20pm the phone rang.  It was her.  She said the same thing as the other doctor!  She looks great!  I started to cry!  I can now let my guard down and fall totally head over heals in love with our Lauren!  Which by the way, I had already done!  Mark got our Letter of Intent completed and we emailed it right away to Holt!  Now we just had to wait for China to say we can move forward!